Watch the Funeral!

My Dream Is Dead, But My Book Is Published
Or… Self Publishing: The Musical

Nothing Holding Me Back
—A Literary Rap

The Funeral Uncut

Family Plots
Love, Death & Tax Evasion
R.I.P. 2008

Family Plots, the first novel of Bay Area writer Mary Patrick Kavanaugh, failed to land a book deal with one of the major NYC publishers, thus killing the authors dream to have a shot at making the NYT bestseller list unless there is a divine intervention.

The novel was born in 2001 at the University of San Francisco’s graduate creative writing program. Despite beginning its life babbling and confused, early caretakers said it demonstrated great potential to entertain. With the assistance of professors, writing students, editors, book agents, and a snappy blurb from one of the author’s famous writer friends, the novel made its debut in the offices of sixteen New York publishers, all of who flat out rejected it, thus prompting the authors agent to utter the two words the author most feared: “self publishing.” The rejecters were all invited to serve as pallbearers at the open casket service. None of them accepted the opportunity. One even wrote a grumpy blog about receiving the invitation.

Family Plots is survived by the author, Mary Patrick Kavanaugh, its agents, Judith Ehrlich and Sophia Seidner, two writing groups, three editors, seventeen proofreaders, and the harsh realities of a cruel publishing industry that drove it to this untimely death. Luckily the many print-on-demand options offer the book hope for resurrection.

Funeral services were held on December 6, 2008, at Lifemark Chapel of the Chimes in Oakland. Edited versions can be viewed on YouTube, or by clicking link on this site. In lieu of flowers, the author would prefer you buy the book.